PERSONAL LOG : My mother father and where I come from Prt 1
I was born at 630 am on a Friday afternoon . How did that old nursery rhyme go ?
Mondays child is full of face ,Tuesday's child is full of grace ,Wednesday's child is full of woe Thursday's child has far to go. Friday's child is loving and giving Saturday's child works for its living .And a child that's born on the Sabbath day Is fair and wise and good and gay.
Loving and Giving . I was that . I am that . Though that is not what defines me . Meny people have told me to write my story . I find that a very big challenge . I watched and read little women as a child and in this great book , Jo says " a great writer writes what they know . "
so that is what I will do I will write what I know .
I was born in the winter of 83. On a Friday in Febuary , To Kathryn Marrie Blaylock Preslar and Samuel Don Preslar .
My mother was just over 16 when i was born . My father on the other hand was in his early 20s . I have often said to my children , " I did not have BAD TASE in men , BAD MEN had a taste for me " This could 100% be said for my mother in respect to every man in my mothers life . All I had been told about my mother , I had learned from my Aunt Myra . She was my fathers older sister . She had lost the ability to have children due to a hysterectamy . She had one overy that had fused to the side of her uterus . This nearly took her life and caused her great pain when on her period . We my younger sisters and I were never aloud to know why . In my childish ignorance I thought it was gods way of saying that my aunt was ment to be my parent . In my adulthood i would deduce that my aunt myra was never ment to have kids. It was quite plane she used adopting her brothers and older sisters children as a coping mechinizum . A form of theripy that Morgan Elizabeth Wehner would use against me and my children .
My earlyest life memory is bright light and the cold feeling of the mettle from the scale I was weighed on . I was born In old town Cottonwood Arizona . At Markus J. Laurence Memmorial hospital . It is now a historic musium , art studio, and gallery . I don't remember much about my mother . I knew what I was told. I knew that my family HATED my mother .
They called my Grandmother Fayelynne a " cuniving old hag " and often called her the battleaxe . I would not understand this was an insult untel i was a teenager . My mother and father were high school sweethearts . that did not graduate from highschool . My father and his brothers were a mix of nerd and special kind of white supremesest . My father was a Dungion master for his friends , girlfriend , and brother roger . My father and mother had dnd characters that like them were in a relationship together . Herself the elf and himself the elf . so when my mother learned that she was expecting me , she did the only lodgical thing a teen girl who played dnd in the 80s and was was pregnant would think to do . she made a dnd character sheet for the child she was expecting and used it to tell my father and her friends that i was expected .
I was told good and bad about my mother . And at 41 i am still learning things about my mother i never knew . I was told my mother was Bipolar manic depressive , with homisidal and suisidal tendancys . I never saw anything ; paperwork or otherwise that supported this fabrication . I would later at 27 meet my grandfather while he was on leave from acting at tumbstone . He Would on November 13 , 2015 mary myself and my husband David Hamm .
He would explain that my mother had Ehler Danlos Syndrome , was color blind , Epileptic, and that she was autistic . I had no i dea what this meant. At 27 i finnally recived fact , not popular opinon . To the point my Grandfather said to me something I would later share with my children . Keep your receipts . Every single one . Texts ,voicemails, letters, emails, etc . Everything is a receipt of what you said , when you said it etc.
The trauma My mother experienced she did so at the hands of those who professed to love her. my grandfather would explain that my mother was sexualy mulested at the hands of his father her grandfather.
My mother was raised by her fathers parents . Albert and Fayelynne Blaylock they had 4 children , Ronald , Marry , Christeine , and Albert . My grandfather Ronald " Ron" told me about how My mothers life began . He told me that he had gotten a stripper on the native American reservation in nebraska pregnant . His mom and dad Raised that child like she was his sibling . He would later go on to marry and have Michael and Christeen . They would be raised in his home with him and my Grandmother Racheal .
my mother remained in her grandparents care as they had legally adopted her . I was told her biomother had died in childbirth . My gandfather would become an Arizona Ranger . my mother would be taken advantage of by her boyfriend and made to be a villan by his racest and white supremesest famliy.
My father Samule Don Preslar was born on the 4th of July in the very late 50s , early 60s . He was a spoon in the us army . Being trained to cook and getting his highschool diploma. after he graduated and spent a very short time in the military, I am told my father was a short order cook as soon as he left the military . I want to say that my parents were happy . I hope they were . I know that my father got my mother on drugs hard drugs . But something myh famiy always told me suprized me . That was when she was a mother . IE pregnant , mothering usas babies , what have you , my mother was the best mother . My aunts on my fathers side always said something about being a mom balanced her chemically .
My earlyest memmories of my childhood :
I was 6 . My best friend Mary and I were playing outside one Saturday .We were playing in an abandoned building . most of the walls were gone or the windows were all busted out or both . there was so much dust in the air , I remember my mom telling me that I was allergic to dust so I was covering my mouth and nose by cupping my hand over both , Mary came over and started asking if I was ok . I said yeah and that I wanted to go back to my apartment to see my mom because the dust was bothering me . she said she would walk me back and when we got there I was so confused by her eagerness to get to the door and she cept asking if My dad was home . lucky for her My dad answered.He opened the door said " what are you doing here I thought Angie hated me and didn't want you around me " my best friend who was 3 years older then me said " yeah well my mommy doesnt even know I play with Elaine . If she did I wouldn't be here. Is her mom home ? " this was odd to me . How in the world did my dad know my best friend and not want my mommy to know I was playing with Mary .
I was too young to understand that I was born in the midst of a love triangle . My father had dated and was engaged to Angella Bowadellia. A Greek Itallian girl at his high school Mingus Union . He and Angella had my older sister Mary Angella 3 years before I was born . they were pretty happy from what I was told . Then something happened and my father cheeted on Angella with my mother Kathy . Apparently while my grandmother was dieing from heart complications due to a life time of trying to drink the pain of being unable to live her truth away . To explain this I have to say that My grandmother hated her name , Mildred Elaine Ray and DEMANDED everyone call her Buddy . She never wore a dress even one day of her life . Not even when she got married . I was told that on her wedding night she broke her new husbands hand for touching her . ( my grandmother was 12 when she got married to a 32 year old man Edward Preslar ) I will always say that my family treated and treats woman like nothing more then breeding stock . However the truth My grandmother on my fathers side could not drink away was that she was most likely nonbinary or Transmasc and did not actually want to have children and was forced to do so against her will . though to be fair the grooming she most likely received at the hands of her parents made it obvious that anything other the baby breeding would be unacceptable .
My father who loved his mother very much decided to be with someone who reminded him of her . Some one who was LGBTQIA , who was nieve , who had already been groomed by the men in her life . Easy prey . It did not matter to him that he was already committed to another woman . He chose to hurt Angella by being with my mom and having me , his actions told my older sister that she didn't matter and he did not love her . My father hunted my mother as I have said before about me I will say about my mother again . THE WOMEN OF MY FAMILY DID NOIT HAVE BAD TASTE IN MEN . BAD MEN HAD A TASTE FOR US .
" well you better go mary, you dont want Kathy to see you here . " My best friend turned to my dad and said " you wife doesn't scare me sam . I am not here for you . I want nothing from you . You hurt us too much . I just want to see ELaine . It's not her fault she not a Bowadellia. " She turned and just before she left she spoke to me " hey FooFoo , Ill be at the lake tomorrow with my mom and dad for the 4th of July , if I see you Ill say hi. "
We were already planning to go to the lake for my dads birthday . I remember going to bed and thinking about how My best friend knew my father .
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