Personal log 6 : what happened in my life elementary my dear

 It was the beinging of May . I was 9  . We had to move to the Nevada Way house . The smallest house we had ever lived at .The last house we lived in had 2 livingrooms , a huge dinning room  , 5  bedrooms , 5 and a 1/2  bathrooms 3 fireplaces , a den , and a library . To a home with 3 bedrooms 2 bathrooms a livingroom and a diningroom and thats it . It lacked imagination in my opinon .  The first few weeks at our new school and new Mormon church Ward  the 24th ward in  Mesa Soulth Stake . Everything was new , I remmber being in the second grade . I hade 2 teachers , An afternoon teacher and a morning teacher , It was this way because Miss Davis My Afternoon Teacher was A phoenix Suns Chearleder .I may not have been a child of financial privilege but I was a child of privileged public schooling . I went to Holmes Elementry School . Our Principal was Dr Fuller 

I was Very Privliged in My Schooling . At least at the Elementary level . I had a Golden apple Award winning teacher in my 6th grade year . Mr. Gary Baker  ,and My Principal had a doctorate. I do belive that is why I had the kind of education i had . I knew how to make a budget , do my taxes , ballence a checkbook , count a till , and so much more . Life skills that my family would bever teach me , my teachers taught to me. And even more then that , my teachers were a family i did not have at home . 

                                                                        Part 2 

 * TRIGGER WARNNING talk of domestic violence and sexual abuse as well as grief violence drug use loss of bodily autonomy and religious trauma if you are sensitive to these elements please take note I must note here that I call all of my cousins my siblings we were all raised that way , I have 3 biological siblings and because I was familiarly adopted I am the exact middle of 12 kids . 

An Aunt of my biological father Sam and "mom" aunt Lynn past away.  Lynette i think or lorna or some older aunt i still dont remeber her name just thar she made me a stuffed rabbit . Heart attack . I know now . I just knew she had died when i was a kid . no one ever told us what from .  We were sent to stay with my grandmother. Nana lunt while my mom and dad and biollogical father delt with the funeral and such  . We would spend summers at least one week every year for the next 10 years with nana lunt . so my mom and her siblings went to washington state and we my sisters and I  stayed with my dad Lunt. He would spend the next several days Taking advantage of the fact that my mom and sisters were away. I caught him watching my sister bathe through a hole in the closet that lead into the bathroom . he never knew I saw him masturbating to my sister . so I got some clothes together and I put them in my backpack and hid it behind my bed . I made a bunch of noise coming out of my room so my dad wouldn't hear me and told him that I was going to visit one of my friends as I left I went over to my best friend Kathy stapley's house and while there I told her what was happening and I sat down with her mom and her dad and explain what was going on I would then spend nearly every single day at the stapley's house I spent next to no time in my own home because of what was going on and the abuse that I was suffering there the stapleys would have got me as if I was their own child and when I was 12 years old my biological sperm donor Samuel Don Preslar raped me.

 He took my virginity and I ended up taking an at-home pregnancy test and finding out that I was pregnant so I went to my friend's dad and he pretended to be my father and we went to planned Parenthood and we made sure that my 12-year-old body didn't give birth to my father's baby people around me knew the importance of my life though everyone in my life up until the last 10 years has been nothing but trauma for me it is true I did not have to give birth to my to my father's baby but everyone around me protected my father Samuel Don Preslar 

 Everyone around me  would continue to protect my biological father until  till the day he died . I confronted him on the phone and he confessed to what he did to multiple family members . Who said I was "dragging his good name through the dirt "  I made him hold himself accountable for his actions and he admitted what he did on his deathbed. I did not drag his name through the dirt he did that himself . 

I would block this out in my underdeveloped PTSD , traumatized brain . I would not revisit these memories again till i was an adult and could unblock them and deal with all the emotional damage